Navigating Valentines Day When Your Single

So, you’re single on valentines day…

Valentine’s Day isn’t all sunshine and roses when you’re single. Let’s be honest. If you don’t have a boo, you might experience sadness, loneliness, dread, or “the above it all syndrome” where we act like “it’s just a hallmark holiday”. Truth is, still hurts.  

Over the years, I’ve become an expert at navigating singlehood during the holidays. Most importantly, I’ve learned how to still celebrate, feel happiness, and get excited for Valentine’s Day with or without a boo.  Below are my 5 tips to have an amazing day with yourself.

  1. Take yourself out for breakfast

This is a new idea for me this year. I woke up this morning (today is Valentine’s Day) and I decided to take myself out for coffee at my favorite local coffee shop. I imagined opening my door to see breakfast already delivered with a bundle of roses, but when I opened my door…nothing. I wasn’t expecting anything, but I still like to check (I’m weird like that). So, I bundled up and headed out the door.  

Take yourself out for breakfast. Start the day off in a fun and relaxing way even if today is Monday. This could be a simple coffee, grabbing a smoothie, some avocado toast, or going all out with pancakes and waffles. Better yet, grab a friend to join you!

2. Buy yourself what you want

I am the queen of disappointment. Over the years, I’ve learned if I want something, get it myself. Buy yourself what you want so you’re not disappointed. I feel no shame going to buy myself a big ass bear, beautiful flowers from Metro Market, or a piece of jewelry I’ve had my eyes on. Get those chocolate strawberries, heart-shaped donut, or cute card. You’re worth it.

3. Write a love poem about yourself

Roses are red, violets are blue, your eyes remind me of the softness and warmth of earth’s soil on a summer day. See, I just wrote that about my own eyes. Write yourself a love poem. Give yourself the love you so effortlessly give to others.

4. Engage in the day

Don’t walk around like the grinch today. Engage in the day. Send out text messages to people you love, make a post on social media, say “happy valentine’s day” to strangers. Buy something for the office to share and distribute. Wear something red or pink. Engage in the day! Engaging in the day whether single or in love are fun ways to still feel a part of the holiday.   

5. Masturbate

Yes, I am publicly writing on my blog about masturbation. Self-pleasure is one of the richest and most connected ways to explore our bodies through physical touch (if we are healthy with it, more to come on sex addiction later). So, light some candles, set the mood, and love your body. I always feel like the world is warmer on Valentine’s Day from all the love-making and so why not join in! If you have not downloaded the app called “Deepsea” I definitely recommend it. The app provides sensual stories to get anyone in the mood.

Modification: If this tip is too “far out” I recommend self-soothing your body through a nice hot bath, lotion, and a facemask.

Take yourself out for breakfast (or lunch or dinner) buy yourself some roses, write a love poem about yourself, truly engage in the day, and give your body a stargazing orgasm because… You’re worth it.

Self-love is the best love.

Written by: Melanie Amini-Hajibashi, MS., LPC-IT., NCC

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